


What I see

by Sc00chin



Category: bts, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Body Image, Depression, Eating Disorders, Gay, I really don't know how to tag, Idol Life, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Park Jimin-centric, Protective Bangtan Boys, Protective Min Yoongi | Suga, Sad Park Jimin, bts - Freeform, if you squint there are other ships, m/m - Freeform, other bts members make small appearances
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2019-07-10 23:57:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15960323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sc00chin/pseuds/Sc00chin
Summary: If only Jimin could see what the world sees.If only Jimin could see what BTS sees.If only Jimin could see what Yoongi sees.**or in other words.Jimin is struggling with his body image and mental illness and it begins to show. BTS is concerned but Yoongi is especially concerned.And just maybe of course, Yoongi has the smallest of crushes and trying to tell Jimin that, is one of the most difficult tasks he has ever done.Note (12/10/18): I just wanted to mention that this is a slow updating Story!! Also there is a slight possibility I have to change the rating for the adult themes that might be happening.  ;)





	1. LATE

#  What I See 

## Chapter one

###  Late 

Jimin would definitely be lying if he were to say that this life is what he has always wanted. To say the least, it isn't what he is expecting. 

He has always loved to dance, so when his instructor recommended that he audition for an entertainment company, he did not expect to become apart of BTS: a 7 member boy band that people around the world have come to love.

To say that he isn't grateful would be and incredibly untrue and gross statement. He loves his fans and he loves the other members of the band. He is more than lucky to be able to have this experience. After all, not many people get to have the chance to feel what fame feels like.

It isn't what he has expected at all though- the emotions that he has always felt before seemed to only become more loud, almost deafening. It feels like he can’t breath when he is in the spotlight and he can’t hear ARMY scream their names at the top of their lungs when BTS get the opportunity to give the fans a concert.

After every meal they eat, whether he eats very little or more than maybe he should have. His mind is plagued with a horrible sticky voice that couldn’t be his, a voice that has made a home in the signer's brain and refuses to leave. 

_Why would you eat that much?_

_Do you even know how many calories that is? Carbs? Do you know anything?_

_You are too overweight. What will everyone think of you?_

_You are bringing down the team._

_You are useless._

Of course he hasn't meant to allow these voices to get to him. He knew he needs to be strong and for the most part he knows a lot of them are for what they are, untrue. 

The other members are always really good at complimenting each other, even he is really good at it. How could they not. They have all become some close over the past years, and now that they are working on their new album, love couldn't help be passed between the others. Compliments on new hair colors have been being passed around, especially on his new hair color, a very nice orange. He isn't sure how he is going to feel about the orange, he has heard from quite a bit of people that orange would never be a good looking color on anybody. Yet J-hope seemed to waste no time in telling him how handsome the other thinks he looks. 

You're just saying that to make me feel better.

No... no... he knows that isn't true. Hoseok would never lie to him like that. He knows that Hoseok genuinely seems to love him, just as he seems to love everyone else. Even Yoongi's lingering eyes stayed on him for longer than he might normally look at the signer before he has mumbled out a,"You look good Jiminie." 

***************************************************************************

**_"You look good Jiminie."_ **

He picks those words apart as he stares at the man in the mirror. Brown eyes and bright orange hair and just fat, fat everywhere...on his thighs, on his arms and on his stomach.

What part of him looks good. What does Yoongi and the others see in him that he can't? He doesn't have a small figure, not in the slightest and he can see the way that his cheeks are plump and his jawline doesn't make sharp cut like it should. He can see how the muscles on his arms have been disappearing as he stopped going to the gym every day- he hasn't the time between their schedule, practices and lessons-

**_Ping!_ **

The sound makes the boy jump, although he instantly recognized it as the notification sound on his phone that sits safely in the pocket of his sweats.

He clicks the screen on. Light illuminates the room and his face, causing a slight blue glow to mark his features. 12:00 AM his clock reads, Jimin bites his lip, has he really been staring at himself that long? He is supposed to be down here practicing their new choreo, it is important to him that he gets it down right, as fast as he can...though knowing himself, he will never be able to get it quite right. The only other thing that he could do is to do his best and make sure that no matter what, he is at least putting in all of his energy into making it better. 

Now then, who has texted him...with a couple swipes of his finger the messaging app appeared on the bright screen. He has 1 unread message from "Hobi". Jimin smiles at the thought of his roommate, the other has always been sure to be there for him. Even offering to stay late with him to help with choreography moves. Jimin has always been one to deny the offers though, from fear that it would be too much of a hassle for Hoseok. Not only that but the other dancer would force him to call it quits earlier than he might have on his own. 

Again, just a tap on the phone is all that he needed so that he can be able to read what the other has sent him.

 **_12:00 a m_ **  
**_Hobi_ **  
_Hey Jimin-ah! I know that you are probably still out and practicing. I just thought I'd let you know that I have left the door unlocked for you and Jin left you some food in the fridge! Don't stay out too late. <3 _

Jimins thumbs hover over the digital keypad on his phone, waiting for him to start writing something. He can't help but smile at the text.

**_12:03 a m_ **  
**_Jimin_ **  
_Alright. Thank you Hyung, sleep well._

After having sent his text he made sure to start to make his way towards the small speakers in the dance room. No point in waiting any longer, might as well get to practicing before he decides that it is too late and he won't be able to practice any longer. 

With a flip of the switch and a click on his phone he has all of the music set up. Just have to set it on loop and everything would be ready for him to practice. If there is anything that helped Jimin escape for a while is his dancing. But as of late, things have changed, something changed and made things even harder for him to cope with it all. Perhaps it is the position that he is now in...with all eyes on him all them time. Hell, he feels like the other band members always looking at him with disgust. 

Time flew by as he began to pick apart the dance he is trying to perfect. Although it is not the whole dance that he is working on...no, there is just a part of the dance that he finds himself focusing on, unable to take his eyes off of every single step that he gets wrong. Everytime he did it, he swore, he faltered by a quarter of a beat, it isn’t passionate enough, not smooth enough, his expression isn’t controlled enough. He felt his breath become labored, as if his lungs were on fire as he continued to struggle to get this right...it has to be right. It has to be perfect. 

The more Jimin pushed himself the more he began to make more mistake and it only made the dancer angrier and angrier at his own appearance in the mirror. Why can’t he get this right?? He refuses to stop until he feels like he has reached a spot where he can say that he can dance with enough confidence on the stage right now. In fact, they plan to perform this song for the first time, after their album comes out, he needs to make sure it is perfect...if not for the band, then for ARMY and if not for ARMY, then for the band. 

He feels himself begin to slip, every now and then his ankle would roll and he would almost fall over...almost. Sweat dripping down his cheeks and his hair sticks to his forehead, he could feel his chest struggle to keep up with him as he continued to push and push, until finally the song restarted again, how many times, not even an observer would be able to say. He felt his muscles give out and felt his weight collide with the floor. He closed his eyes tight, trying to let his breath catch up to him. 

If it weren’t for the music blasting in the dance room, he would have fallen right into slumber. 

Yet the music stopped.

He opens his eyes looking right over to where his phone should be playing music, half expecting someone to be standing there, hoping that someone is there watching him with judging eyes. Yet, no one stood there. His phone must have died… 

He huffs letting out some of his frustrations with that one breath, upset that his phone died. Thankfully, the walk from the studio to their dorm is not a far one. It is so late...or perhaps so early, no one would be out to notice him….don’t get him wrong, he loves running into their fans, but right now, if someone found him in the state that he is in...he might have a small meltdown about it. Mostly because he tries to look as nice as he can for their fans. He knows that how he looks matters, even when Namjoon is on a V-live and he decides to interrupt...he hides his face if he doesn’t have makeup on.

He roughly pushes himself to his feet, his muscles and his bones yelling at him not move, telling him that they are too tired and honestly, he should just sleep on the floor. Yet he knew he shouldn’t stay out here. Jimin knows that if Hoseok or any of the others were to wake up and find that Jimin isn’t where he should be, there would be a small panic among the others. Honestly? Jimin doesn’t want to be more of a burden to the other members than he already is. 

His walk outside goes just as he thought it would. The bitter cold reached him fast waking him up easily. The cold seemed to numb his sore body and cause his wet eyes to stay open in the dark. It must have rained while he danced- the city around him is damp in color, some people would call it drab and dreary. To Jimin though, it gave him life, the crisp smell brought a small smile to his face...if it would rain everyday, maybe he would feel a little better about- well- just about everything. It makes him feels fresh and clean. Not to mention the feeling of the cold bitter air entering his lungs made everything seem that much more- alright... it is as if with every breath that he takes the cold air pushes out all the hot, sticky toxicity of his own mind. 

His walk is short, just as he is expecting it to be, but in his mind he couldn’t help but wish that it would last longer. He almost turned around to walk back to the studio so that he could make this trip twice in one night, just to enjoy this cool breeze. His body wouldn’t allow that… he could feel the gravity of earth pulling him down to the ground- his muscles, almost too tired and too sore to hold him up. His hand slips into the pocket of his jeans and pulls out a singular bronze key. The key to their dorm, it felt warm to the touch from being pressed against his body all day, and it did not help that his skin chilled on the walk home. That made it easier to slide the key into the door in front of him. 

With a quick twist of the key, Jimin pushes the door open and is greeted with the familiar scent of home. The dorm isn’t anything to special, but it is fairly nice compared to what they have had before. Since they have become more popular, BTS has been able to gain more money for their company, the more the money for the company the more the company is able to take care of their idols. The building consisted of only a couple rooms. There of course is the living room; which is attached to the kitchen and to the doorway. From the living room there is a hallway that leads to the boy’s bathrooms and bedrooms. They have two bathrooms, which is pretty reasonable considering that all seven of them live in this small building.

His eyes drift over to the table sitting just outside of the kitchen- on top of the kitchen table is a plate covered with seran wrap so that it would stay fresh and a note. Jimin made his way over the table, his eyes glancing over the chicken and salad meal, then to the note.

 _Jimin-ah!_  
_I hope you didn’t work to hard! I figured you would be home late so I left your dinner out for you. If it is cold just stick it in the microwave for a little. Please eat up and rest well!_  
_-Your Hyung ~ Jin_

Jimin’s eyes rest again on the food… and it felt like a rock began to form in his stomach- He gently picks up the plate and the note in his hands before walking over to the fridge to push the plate into it so that the food won’t go bad. He will eat it later. As for the note he keeps it in his hands as he shuffles over to the room he shares with Hoseok. Jimin gently pushes open the door, careful to not wake up the sleeping boy inside...there have been times where he accidentally woke up J-hope and each time the dancer would scold him for being out so late.

Dropping all of his stuff on the nightstand he hopped right into his bed that sat next to it, not bothering to take off any of his clothes or switch into something more comfortable, he is just so tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all like it! This is my first BTS fic so I really hope it is good! comments are always welcome.


	2. I'm Just Tired, I Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Through a long day of activities, Jimin begins to feel more tired than usual, perhaps it is the lack of food that is getting to him. Yoongi seems to notice,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry that this took so long to get out, I have had it written since the beginning of September, but school keeps getting in the way. I also don't want to release these without reading them over myself too, so I edited it to the best of my ability. Also, I am going to have someone else look over it soon since I am just tired and I want to get working on the next chapter, so I hope that if you see any mistakes it doesn't bother you :)
> 
> I hope that you enjoy it!

#  What I See 

## Chapter two

###  I'm Just Tired, I Promise 

_**Beep** _  
_**Beep** _  
_**Beep** _  
_**Beep** _  
_Click_

Jimin huffed turning in his bed feeling as though he has gotten no sleep the night before, then again, he probably didn't consider how long he remembers laying in the dark. He cracks his eyes open to be greeted by the dimly lit room and none other than his roommate Jung Hoseok, awake but not quite out of bed yet. Granted the other man has also just woken up from his sleep and looks just about as exhausted as Jimin. 

“Good Morning Jimin-ah” The rapper smiles at Jimin, that classic bright, heartwarming smile that only J-hope can really give. The J-hope Smile.

Jimin groans in response, expressing how much he doesn't want to get up right now, but he knows that he has to. They have a long day ahead of them. “Good morning Hoseok-hyung.”

Hoseok gives Jimin that face that says,’it is your fault you are so tired... staying up so late to practice.’ And honestly, Jimin knows it to be true. He feels this way every morning after a long night of work and practice.

It took Jimin about an extra 5 minutes to start moving after Hoseok had left the room to get ready himself for the morning ahead of them. An interview at a Radio station and then more dance practice is on the schedule. It is important that they get the choreo down before they have to perform it live in front of- well anyone and everyone really. It is always important that they give their best to ARMY. After all, ARMY does a whole lot for them and never really asks for anything in return, so this is the best that BTS can do. Providing something better than the last and making it as perfect as it possibly can be.

Jimin decides that for the interview, he at least should try to look a little nicer than just wearing a hoodie and some sweats, so he put on one of his nicer turtlenecks and a pair of black skinny jeans. The turtleneck is black with white stripes on it- and honestly, despite the fact it isn’t related to the new era they are working on- it is one of his favorites.

Once Jimin is sure that he is completely ready, having done his hair and most of his make-up; even though most of the time they have a makeup artist do it all, the bangtan boys have been wearing makeup for such a long most of them have taken the time to learn how to do some of the looks themselves so that the makeup artists don't always have to come out and do it for them. He walked into the kitchen where all of the other boys are enjoying a simple and fast breakfast- sure Jimin might have joined them, especially considering he didn't really have anything to eat the day before, but he still just doesn't feel hungry enough to go out of his way to make something to eat.

After some ‘Good Mornings’ were passed his way from the other members, Jin spoke up, ”Jimin-ah, I noticed you didn't eat your dinner last night- you should have something this morning. We are going to be out for a while.” He seemed to be more demanding than he normally is. Classic Jin, being such a ‘parent’ for the rest of them. 

To satisfy the needs of his Hyung, Jimin decided that he would make himself a small protein shake- It should be enough to get him through most of the day until they get home after all of their work. Out of all the protein drinks, Jimin doesn't really like any of the sweet ones- however, he has learned a while ago that he quite enjoys the ones that Suga drinks- sort of a vanilla-like taste, but just not so strong.

After breakfast, all of the members set out to go get everything done together.

*****  
Of course, because the whole day is filled to the brim with activities and Jimin felt like he is losing energy with every passing hour. Nothing new for any of them, they all are always so tired by the end of each day, which always meant that there isn’t enough time for any of them to hang out as much as they might want. Yet, Jimin feels like he is becoming worn out a lot faster than he should be- he found himself thanking his hyung for forcing him to bring the protein shake that he didn't finish during breakfast or he might have found he would not have been able to handle of the activities throughout the day.

They all sit in the van as the sun began to set, painting the sky a beautiful orange, one that could make a heart melt. Jimin would have been joining Taehyung and Jungkook with taking pictures if it weren’t for the fact that he can hardly keep his eyes open. He practically is sleeping on their way back to the dorm, but what kept him from completely sleeping is an eerie feeling of eyes staring into him like daggers- like someone in the car who could see right through him, could see every fresh wound and every scar that his heart and soul bared. 

Wanting to prove himself wrong, that there is, in fact, no one in this car staring at him and they are all trying to sleep as well, he lifts his head up, despite how his headache protested the movement. Yet when his eyes drifted around the car, he found himself to be mostly right. Everyone seemed to be trying to sleep, everyone except the one person he would, under every other normal circumstance, absolutely expect to be asleep.

Min Yoongi sits there, watching him like a hawk, as their eyes met for a brief moment and he feels his face flush. Jimin averts his eyes not wanting to get in an awkward interaction with his hyung. Yet, he could feel the eyes of the rapper never leave to the point where the dancer wondered if Yoongi was even purposely looking at him...perhaps, Yoongi is only staring off into space.

Yet that does not seem to be the case. As all of the boys made their way into the dorm, some of them, somehow already have all of their energy back despite how long they had worked today. Jimin could never understand how Jungkook and Tae could be bouncing about or how Jin hyung beamed to make the lot of them a delicious dinner. 

He could feel Yoongi’s eyes lurking, watching, waiting for him to mess up. 

_‘Stupid stupid Jimin, you must have done something wrong.’,_

In a desperate attempt to escape the eyes of his hyung he made his way to the room that he shares with Hobi. He loved that he got to share this room with the actual definition of an actual ray of sunshine. If anything Hoseok adds a little bit of life into him every day and every night- honestly, whenever he sees Hoseok he can feel his heart get a little lighter. 

Hoseok looked up from his phone, he has already made himself home on his bed, trying not to fall asleep. He wants to be able to enjoy some of Seokjin’s delicious food. The boy smiled brightly at Jimin as if he is happy to see the dancer before looking back at his phone.

“Hoseok hyung?” His voice is barely above a whisper, part of him hoping that his hyung did not even hear him, giving him an excuse to back out of a conversation he felt like he needs to have with Hoseok. His ray of sunshine might not even know the answers to his question, so why would he even dare to try and ask the other man. 

“Yes, Jimin-ssi?” Hoseok being Hoseok, he immediately put down his phone and sat there tentatively waiting for his sunbaenim to say what is on his mind.

“Is...do youth-think Yoongi hyung is angry with me?”

The question threw J-hope way off, he did not see that coming, not for a long shot. “Why would Yoongi Hyung be angry at you Jimin-ssi?” 

“He has been staring at me f-for a long time….I think I did something w-wrong.” Jimin felt tears find their way to the corners of his eyes. The idea of making any of his hyungs angry for any reason made his heart break into a million tiny little pieces. All of the members of BTS mean so much to Jimin, not only are they all like a family but all work so hard to help each other chase their dreams. So when he feels like he has wronged one of them….well then what kind of man is he? 

Not a man that deserves the love of his friends, that is for sure.

“What?? No!” The sight of Jimin almost crying was too much for Hoseok to handle, the last thing that he wanted to see was the small mochi cry, it would absolutely make him cry, and then what use would he be to Jimin? J-hope was quick to his feet, wrapping his arms around the boy. “Goodness Jimin, no...what on earth would make you think you did anything wrong today. “ 

Hoseok ran his hand through Jimin’s orange hair, gently holding him close, knowing that this is the best that he can do. “If Yoongi were upset at you, we both know that he would not waste any time making all of us aware of it.” 

Jimin nodded, doing his best to keep his tears at bay, J-hope is right...Yoongi would say something, right? If he is angry...Yoongi would tell Jimin...right?  
****

It would be a lie if Jimin were to say that he is not afraid to join the rest of BTS at the dinner table when Jin’s voice rang through the hallways, ”Dinner!” 

There are always so many reasons why he dislikes going to dinner with the boys. He preferred if anything, to eat alone. At least there aren’t any cameras around to watch him and the others...at least there would be no pressure to actually eat something.

He had been sitting with Hoseok for the past 15 minutes, the rapper sitting there, making sure to hug Jimin till they were all called to dinner. The man gave the signer a soft smile as they both got up, a smile that tried to tell him,’it will be okay, no one is upset at you, we love you.’ 

Jimin could scoff at that- yeah right. 

Both Jimin and Hoseok walked out of the room together, almost running right into the two youngest members as they raced down the hallway to the kitchen screaming about who would be first to get to the table.

Hoseok could only laugh and yell after them joining the race,”Yah! Not if I can get there first!” 

Jimin laughed at his friends, watching as Hoseok runs after the two, who laughed so loudly it could wake up the neighbors….if they had neighbors. 

Jimin shuffles his way after, not picking up his feet hoping that if he walked slow enough, then maybe they would all be done by the time he got there. Not possible, but he could hope. 

“I’ve never seen you walk this slow.”

Jimin jumps spinning around, eyes meeting with the one person he wishes to not be alone in a hall with or anywhere at least for right now. Min Yoongi stared him in the eye, trying to read what is on Jimin’s mind, trying to pull at the strings barely keeping the poor boy together. 

“Y-yoongi hyung?” Jimin let out a small sigh, ”I didn’t even hear you coming...I’m only tired Hyung.” Jimin let out the smallest of laughs trying to play off the situation.

He could tell that Yoongi does not believe him one bit and that made the situation all the more uncomfortable. “Uhm….would you like to go to dinner Hyung?” 

Min very quickly nodded before making his way past Jimin, of course not before taking his hand to pull Jimin towards the dining room. 

The dining room is a decent size for all of the other boys to have plenty of room for themselves and for the food that they decide to cook. The room, in general, had a white and brown theme, the walls painted a very simplistic white with paintings here or there, not many but a few. Most of the paintings or pictures featured are created by the band members themselves. The table sitting in the room is the color of cherry oak and is large enough to give them all comfortable space to eat and enjoy each others company.

In the middle of the table sat a vase with white lilies all nicely trimmed sitting at the same height as each other. Other than the vase, a long piece of cloth runned along the middle of the table, just a plain white towel with black accents. On the table also sat 7 plates all plain white, each one accompanied by a pair of chopsticks and a spoon. Each spoon and chopsticks have ‘방탄소년단’ engraved on them. Jin had insisted to the rest of them how cool it would be if their names were put on them too, so that is what they did. On the left side the chopsticks read in order from closest to the kitchen to the hallway their rooms is, ‘Jungkook’, ‘Taehyung’, ‘Hoseok’ at the very front of the table where there is a lone chair the chopsticks read ‘Seokjin’ on the other side, again starting from the kitchen back read, ‘Jimin’, ‘Yoongi’, ‘Namjoon’ 

Jimin sighed in frustration as they walked, there was always an unspoken rule that they all stuck to their own seats, just so none of them ever fight about wanting a certain spot like they used to. Jimin had chosen the side closest to the kitchen because it rested against a wall which meant that he is able to lean against the wall while they eat. For some reason, Yoongi had chosen the spot right next to him. Perhaps it is because Namjoon also is sitting on that side? Either way, now he was going to have to sit by his hyung and with tension in between them, it just wasn’t going to help things.

Jimin sat himself down in his spot as everyone else started to file their way into the dining room all of them sitting down in their respective spots, Taehyung, Jungkook, and Hoseok already seated and panting from racing each other.

Both Namjoon and Jin came walking out of the kitchen both carrying plates “Yah! Kookie, Hoseok-ah will the two of you help Namjoon-ie and I get the rest of the plates in here?”

Hoseok and Jungkook were both fast to respond to their hyungs request, leaping to their feet to get the rest of the food from the kitchen. 

Jin lay down a large steaming plate of spicy tteokbokki while Namjoon placed down a bowl of black bean sauce noodles. Hoseok and Jungkook came running out just a couple seconds later with small plates of sticky rice and kimchi. 

Jimin felt his mouth water, some of these were his favorite things to eat, in fact, almost all of it is his favorite- god he just loves fo-.... 

_You shouldn’t eat, you are already so fat, eating more will just add to it._

Jimin felt his stomach suddenly turn at the thought. He felt like he could throw up all of the protein shake he had been consuming throughout the day, which honestly is not a lot.

“Jimin-hyung? What's wrong?” he hears a worried voice call out. It was his Jungkookie, his eyes wide and doe like- “you look pale…”

Jimin blinked, looking at his Jungkookie as all the other members looked over at him.

“Jimin-ah? Are you getting sick?” added Namjoon

Jimin is quick to shake his head, “No no! No! I am okay! I'm just tired….” he tries to play it off as so, they all must be tired from such a long day, how could he even complain...even if it isn't the whole truth...how selfish. 

Jimin felt all eyes continue to watch him, studying, trying to see if there is something else. Something that their favorite Chim Chim is not sharing, and yet almost none of them seemed to understand what is going on with Jimin in the slightest. All of them nodded agreeing and commented on how it will be time to sleep soon anyways and not to worry. 

Everyone except for Min Yoongi of course, who looked at Jimin long and hard. The rappers mouth would open and shut as if he is deciding on whether he should say what is on his mind or save it for later-

Jimin prayed that it would be later, or preferably, not at all. 

Once the awkwardness had passed over the table, everyone began to dig in, Jungkook quickly reaching to grab the plate of tteokbokki, of which he knows that Jimin loves and always made a point to get that specific plate to the dancer first. Of course after giving himself his own serving that is. 

“Here you go Hyung!” the doe-eyed boy reached over placing a hefty amount of the tteokbokki on Jimins’ plate. 

Jimin could only force a smile on his face, now he wished they hadn't taught the small boy how to have manners at all, then Jimin would have a full plate of…

_Goddamnit Jimin, do **not** talk about Jungkook like that… _

“Thank you Kookie~” He grinds his teeth after the words have left his mouth. 

The youngest member gave Jimin a big innocent smile passing the plate to the rest of the members as the rice and kimchi are also being passed around.

In the end, Jimin found his plate full with practically everything that had been served and all the boy could do was stare at it for a while, trying to talk himself into just eating it. 

It wasn’t until he felt eyes on him that he quickly grabbed a rice cake with his chopsticks, sticking it in his mouth chewing and letting out a convincing “mmm~” as he slowly chewed.

It doesn't convince anyone, Jimin is sure of it, yet, no one was saying anything maybe he is in the clear-

Dinner went by slowly as the all of them chewed and talked about the day they all shared together. Talking on whether something might have made them happy or upset. 

All the food on the shared plates and the member's plates slowly disappeared. Well, all of them except Jimin's’, who within that time managed to eat maybe half of the tteokbokki. The rice and kimchi untouched.

“Is everyone full enough?” Seokjin asked through the casual talk happening in the group, though he made eye contact with their Chim Chim, taking note of the plate. 

Everyone nodded their heads, reminding Jin on how talented he is in cooking. Jimin too, stating that he could not wait for the next meal that their ‘fearless hyung’ would make next. 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that is that! I hope that you enjoyed this chapter and it was worth the wait, Comments, and feedback are of course appreciated. I will try and get the next chapter out as soon as I can!


	3. Can't Stay Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Fuck Jimin! How can you be so _fucking dense!?_ ” Yoongi is practically boiling in anger, hands flying around him as he spits words left and right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it took so long for me to update, I hope that you all like it though!
> 
> (un-edited)

## What I See

### Chapter 3

#### Can't Stay Here

That night, the rain had begun to come down on the city of Seoul for quite some time, maybe for about 2 hours or so. The rain is not heavy but it is not light either. The pitter-patter of the rain hits the window by Jimin's bed, which could easily fit two people and looks freshly cleaned, the grey covers fluffy and soft like clouds.

Jimin's eyes traced the individual raindrops on the window, he hadn't bothered to close the blinds and curtains. Although, it bugs Seokjin whenever any of the windows are open at night. It made sense to Jimin too, it is so easy to see inside someone house at night

The sudden switch of low green light by his bedside on the nightstand brought his attention from the window. His glazed eyes read the numbers of the digital clock that sits there. 

_´3:00 a.m.´_

Had he really been awake for that long? Jimin glances at the bookcase just by his nightstand that divides the room into two, he can see through gaps where books or collectibles do not sit or completely cover his view, a very peaceful looking Hoseok. It is enough to make him smile as he looks at the peaceful man deep in sleep. 

He sat himself up, running a hand through his hair...he felt his stomach rumble. His gaze again goes across the room towards the door that leads back out to the hallway, and he found himself, without a single thought, slipping out from his bed sheets. Jimin shivers, the air in the dorm is cold enough for him to decide to grab the hoodie sitting on the corner of his bed. Just a plain dark grey hoodie, something he had bought for himself quite some time ago. 

Jimin shuffles out of the room quickly, careful to not wake up his hyung, and began to make his way to the fridge, now would be a good time if any to eat something. He just can't stand these hunger pains anymore.

He makes his way to the kitchen, still careful not to make to much noise. Living here for the amount of time that he has, has given him the chance to learn just how much noise he can make before it travels through the rest of the house and wake up everyone else.

He softly made his way into the kitchen, the soft _tick, tick, tick_ of the clock on the wall, just by the kitchen can be easily heard in the silence of the house. Jimin quickly opened up the fridge, as always it is well organized, by Jin he is sure, who always tries to keep the house in a orderly and clean fashion. 

Inside of the fridge is mostly leftovers and perhaps a few ingredients here and there that will surely be used later to make a meal for the lot of them. Other than those simple things, there is also a rather large bowl of Kimchi, clearly from Yoongi’s family as they tend to send him quite a bit of it. 

Jimin pulls out the bowl of leftover Bean Paste Noodles from the meal before and went to get a bowl. As quietly as he could he put the noodles in the bowl and right into the microwave. His least favorite part about making a meal in the middle of the night is the fact that, A: The microwave door makes a loud noise no matter how hard he tries when he closes or opens the door and B: the actual microwave seems to make a loud wrrr when cooking the food. 

“Jimin?” 

Jimin practically jumps out of his own skin, the voice behind absolutely scaring the living shit out of him. The voice is low and mumbly, clearly from having been woken up. Turning his head, he supposes he shouldn’t have been surprised to see that the owner of the voice is Yoongi. 

Yoongi seems to be in a rather sleepy mood but neither angry nor annoyed by the fact the Jimin had woken him up. He is wearing a rather cute silk pajama set, it’s simply just a red color with black lining. Jimin had to admit that the other boy looks- hot? Perhaps even sexy? 

Jimin felt his cheeks heat up at the way his tired Hyung looks, it feels strange... to feel this way when he looks at the other man. His stomach is all fuzzy and his face is all hot, and he is sure his cheeks are a bright pink. He finds himself quickly turning his face away in the hopes that Yoongi would not pick up on his embarrassment. 

“What are you doing awake?” He hears him shuffling a little closer.

“Ah- I was just hungry Hyung.” For once, he isn’t lying.

A silence grows between them for what seems like an age before he hears the fridge open. Jimin glances over to see what Yoongi is doing and is surprised to see that he is also getting out some kimchi and rice. 

“Are you hungry too Hyung?”

Yoongi raises his eyebrows and shakes his head. As he moved to the cupboard that stores the plates he mumbles, ”You are probably going to want some of this with that…” he pauses for a moment as if he is about to say something that he wasn't too sure he should say. However, he seems to change his mind and instead says,”...It will taste better.” 

Jimin feels his cheeks get all red again from the embarrassment of getting babied by his Hyung, but also because he thought it so sweet for Yoongi to think that for him. Yet he couldn't find it within himself to accept the offer from Yoongi. Even though he feels like he is starving to death (not literally, of course.) “A-ah, Yoongi-hyung...it's okay, this will be plenty right here…” he gestures to the slightly full bowl in front of him.

Yoongi doesn't seem to budge for even a second, shaking his head. “don't be ridiculous Jimin, I really think you’ll like it better with these.”

“No, really Hyung, I am not that hungry…” he tries again. 

That seems to set something off in the rapper, his face growing slightly red, clearly not from embarrassment as the boys' eyes spoke of irritation. “How can you not be hungry?” those words came out more like a growl.

Jimin is more than unsure how to answer Yoongi, he did not expect that kind of response. The last thing that he was expecting was anger. “Wh-what do you mean?” 

“You know what I mean Jimin.” venom seems to spit from behind his words. 

“I-i don't! I swear, Yoongi, please tell me why you are so angry, did I do something wrong?” Jimin is genuine, he has done many things, but he can't imagine what could be making his hyung so angry right now. 

“Fuck Jimin! How can you be so _fucking dense!?_ ” Yoongi is practically boiling in anger, hands flying around him as he spits words left and right. 

“ _You and I both know_ you've been fucking _starving_ yourself for _weeks!_ I don't know what is fucking going on with you and I _would **love**_ to know!” to hell with being quite, Yoongi is practically yelling at the top of his lungs. 

Much could be said about how loud the young rapper was being by the others slowly poking sleepy and rather confused heads outside of their rooms.

Jungkook was the first to emerge from his own room, eyes tired, but wide. It's one thing to be awoken by loud yelling, it is another thing to be awoken by loud yelling and realize that two of the people that you love dearly are in a serious argument. 

Jimin felt his eyes burning with tears, he can handle many things, but this is not one of those things. Min had only yelled at him a handful of times. It is not often for him to yell at any of them really, he always has quite a calm demeanor. “Y-yoongi...” his voice is barely above a whisper.

“I don’t understand what is going on with you Park Jimin! Don’t you understand-” 

The first to approach the two was of course the leader of the group, Namjoon, “Yoongi- that’s enough” He tries at first, not wanting to raise his voice above Yoongi’s.

“-how much we have all been worried about you!? God! I- I feel like I don’t even know you anymore!” Yoongi faltered as soon as those words left his mouth, regret evident in eyes almost immediately. 

**_“Yoongi”_** This time Namjoon shouted, grabbing both Yoongi and Jimin’s attention, all of the others behind in shock from the words that were being thrown.

Yet Jimin couldn’t get past those words, it hurt, it hurts like hell. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, it felt like a rope was quickly tightening around him filling him with fear….he can’t stay here- no, he needs to leave.

Just like that, Jimin turns on his heels, ready to leave, already running to the door, yet he felt a hand grab onto his wrist. 

“Wait, please! I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean--” Yoongi couldn’t even get those words out as Jimin pulled away roughly, completing his trip to the door. He grabbed his long black coat and threw it on, rushing outside into the cold air with the door slamming behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyy, I know this one is probably a little shorter than the others and I am really sorry about that-  
> I am having a rough time trying to write with school going on as I need to graduate this year, but I promise to try and get these out as fast as I can.  
> I super hope you guys liked it anyway, as always comments are welcome!  
> I can't figure out how to embed a link, but I am going to be leaving updates on this fic in my Twitter now if you interested in checking it out.: https://twitter.com/Sc00chin


	4. What Did You Do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin takes some time to himself before heading back home.
> 
> Yoongi regrets his actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I know, It has been a while... im really sorry!  
> However I managed to get this together, so I really hope that you enjoy it!
> 
> (Edited)

#  What I See 

## Chapter Four

###  What Did You Do? 

Jimin almost immediately regretted leaving the dorm as soon as he was out. The rain is coming down heavily, already dampening his hair. Regardless, he knew that he needed to keep going.

He pulls the jacket tight against his body, Jimin’s grey pajamas and hoodie not helping much more than the thick black jacket- hell, he isn't even sure that this is even his jacket. Upon closer inspection, Jimin is able to make out that it is, in fact, Taehyung's dress jacket. Not only that but t is a Gucci one and that makes him feel just a bit of guilt. He knows that Tae loves his Gucci brand clothes, and so, for him to take one of his jackets like it was nothing… Jimin really hopes that the other boy does not mind. 

Jimin stops at a corner, unsure of how far he has gone nor where he is going still. His hair is now completely damp, clinging to his forehead. In this weather, Jimin can see his own breath, it is absolutely freezing tonight. 

The small boy sticks his hands into the pockets of Taehyung´s coat to see if he could find anything inside of it. Any money...anything… He felt his breath catch at the feeling of something square and leathery. Pulling out the object, he finds that it is a very intricate wallet that Jin had given to Taehyung for Christmas a year ago.

Pulling open the wallet desperate to find money for a ride or possibly even for a room, he quickly saw that inside the wallet is: Taehyung´s ID card, a couple of business cards, a credit card, and a couple thousand won. What was the strangest, but also probably the cutest things that he found in the wallet is a selfie that Jungkook had taken with Taehyung printed out small enough so that it could fit inside. 

Jimin looked at the picture for a couple of minutes before moving on. This should be enough to get him a room for the night and then, he would make sure to repay his Tae any money he uses back when he sees him again. 

Again, Jimin looks up to take note of where he is… looking a little ways in front of him, Jimin is able to see the lake Oksu-dong, just by Hannam Bridge. He had been here before with the boys, so in the very least, it’s good that he has an idea of where he is. Jimin looked around himself, wondering where the nearest motel, hotel or inn is at the moment. 

**************

Yoongi is in shock, if there even is any better way to put it. The words that came out of his mouth are honestly words that he never wanted to say to Jimin in the first place, words that should never be said, period. He just wanted the boy to eat something at least a little more than what he was going to.

He looked about himself and down the halway to see wide and shocked eyes peeking out of their rooms. “Yoongi- what the fuck….did you just do?” It’s Namjoon to first break the silence. The leader seems more concerned than he is angry. 

Both Taehyung and Jungkook are running to the coat rack before another word is said, they were going to chase down Jimin, if they can find him that is. Taehyung is quick to notice that Jimin had run off with his jacket, not wanting to say anything about it, he just reaches for Jimin’s Puma jacket. Just like that, both Tae and Kookie were out of the dorm. 

“What happened?” Namjoon grabs Yoongi’s attention once again. 

“I-I….I didn’t…” Yoongi doesn’t even know how to explain this to the one person that has been friends with for what seems like an eternity. How does a man say to his best friend, _‘I was worried about Jimin and I just couldn’t sit by, I fucking love him, I care so so much about him. I made a big mistake, I don’t know how to fix it, please help me.’_

“You didn’t _what_ Min.” It’s J-hope, except there is something distinctly foul in the sound of his voice. The man’s face is twisted into nothing but anger and confusion. Can Yoongi blame him? He just drove Jimin out of their home. Hell, he would be just as angry with himself. He is already in disbelief about what he had done, his is so angry with himself

“I-i didn’t mean it- I just-” Yoongi could hardly get his words out before Hoseok has a fist full of his shirt. Yoongi would have shoved him off, but next thing he knew, Hoseok’s fist me his face hard and fast.

He felt his shoulder sting as he stumbled back into the wall behind him hands flying up to try and protect his face, both Jin and Namjoon shout grabbing onto Hoseok. 

After a few more seconds of yelling and no more punching, Yoongi looked up from behind his hands to see a fuming Jung Hoseok being held back by both Namjoon and Jin. 

Yoongi's cheek aches and felt both warm and wet, putting his hand up to his cheek, his suspicions were confirmed. Just a bit of blood is brushed along his fingers, if this were any other situation he might even praise Hoseok on his hit. 

“Calm down Hobi! Please!” Jin tries, practically using his entire body weight to hold the usually cheerful rapper down. 

“You couldn't just be fucking _nice_ to him! Could you!!?” Hoseok shouts, his eyes not even daring to move from Yoongi for even a second.

“I tried to Hoseok! Do you think I meant to say that stupid shit??” he finally shouts back.

“Well clearly you didn't try hard enough!” Hoseok is known to be scary when he is angry, but none of them had ever seen him act in such a way. "Your so careless, you don´t care one bit about his goddamn feelings!”

"Of course I care about his feelings!” Yoongi shouts back. Yes he deserves to be yelled at and ridiculed for what he had said to Jimin, but the moment the other even starts to suggest Yoongi doesn’t care, is where he draws the line, it is simply not true. 

"Will both of you calm down please!” Jin shouted, raising his voice loud enough to be heard over the other two.

*******

Jimin had been walking for some time now when he finally reached a motel, it did not look pretty but it also did not look run down in the slightest and for that, he is thankful for. 

Warily, the boy makes his way up to the main doors of the hotel and walks in. As expected, he does not see anyone standing around, it looks completely empty. The bell chime that went off when he entered called along a hotel employee.

The employee looked like your average person, she is relatively short just barely reaching Jimin´s shoulders, if he were to stand right next to her that is. She seems to be in a rather pleasant mood considering she must be working all night. Then again, perhaps she is a night person like Yoongi.

"Can I help you Sir?” she smiles.

"Uhm… yes, do you have any rooms open for tonight?" He tries, the building doesn’t look like it is too terribly big, so he figured that there should be a decent chance that there is at least one room available. 

"We do! Is it going to be just you?” She finally gets the time to take his appearance in and thank the gods that she did not notice who he is or he might have been in a world of trouble. At the very least, she might assume that he got in a fight with his "girlfriend" if he were to have one… and had been kicked out of the house. 

"Yes ma´am, just me.” he replies. 

She nods and quickly types for a second on the keyboard before nodding to him, “One night will be 100,000 won”

Jimin nodded and quickly pulled out Taehyung's wallet, quickly he went through the cash hoping that Tae had at least that much won in there, and he did so Jimin pulled out the cash and handed it to the lady. “Here you are.”

"Thank you", she quickly stows the money and then takes out a card. again with a few clicks on the keyboard in front of her, she turns to Jimin and hands him the card,"Here you are, you are in room 110, on the second floor."

Jimin nods before quickly taking the card, giving her a small bow, he makes his way to the elevators and then to his room. It is your average hotel with tan, brown and orange feel to it. There is a queen size bed in his room along with a table, a tv and a couple of lamps. 

Jimin walked over to the bed and took a deep breath before laying down on it, not caring to really get in the covers, he really needs to process what just happened before he left. 

In fact, right now he is really regretting his decision to leave. If he knows Yoongi as well as he thinks he does, he would know that Yoongi would not have meant what he said. He wouldn’t mean those words right? Yoongi is quick with his mind and Jimin knows that, but it also did not stop it from hurting that much. 

He felt his eyes burn and tears slowly run down his cheeks as Yoongi´s words played over and over in his head, what does he mean he does not know him? How could he not know him? They have been living together for so long, they have been _friends_ for so long.

Jimin pried himself up from the bed and made his way to the bathroom provided within the hotel room. He started running the water in the shower so that it would be warm enough for him when he is ready to hop in. After being in the rain for so long, his body just felt… cold and unhappy.

Pulling his wet sticky silk pajamas off of his body he glances in the mirror at his sickly pale skin, at the way it runs smoothly over his bones. They are not too visible, but you could for sure see the clear rolls were ribs would be and his pelvis jutted out ever so slightly...he knows this is not right but he is unsure of how to even ask for help. Even though it seemed Yoongi was trying so hard to reach out to him. 

****

Yoongi, Jin, Hoseok, and Namjoon sat together silently in the living space the boys share. It's mostly silent, and they are all too uncomfortable

Yoongi´s cheek is sporting a rather nice looking bruise and now that he has a ice pack firmly pressed against it, not daring to take it off as a rather irritated Jin rather aggressively told him to put it there. 

It is clear that both Jin and RM are upset with both of Hoseok and Yoongi. Hoseok seems to have calmed down rather quickly, however, there still seems to be red across his face as the last remaining anger still held on.

"Im….im sorry." Hoseok breaks the silence looking up at his Yoongi-hyung, regret, and sadness leaking out of his eyes in the form of tears. "I lost m-my temper, I should not have hit you." 

"No-no...you had every right to, I was being an asshole," Yoongi responds.

"Even so, I should not have hit you, it's not what friends do. Not what family does to each other.” Hoseok shakes his head

"I-...” Yoongi is unsure of how he should respond to Hoseok, “I-it’s okay Hobi- really.” 

J-hope looked as though he was about to reply to Yoongi, but the sound of the door opening had beat him to it. All four of the boys looked over at the door, praying that standing there would be Jimin. Sadly, it seemed like neither Jungkook nor Taehyung were able to find him.

It was hard for all of them to convince each other to finally go to bed, reminding each other that Jimin is a grown adult and surely will be able to take care of himself for one night, they can go looking for him in the morning if he doesn’t come back. It became easier to rest a when Tae had mentioned he left his wallet in the coat that Jimin had taken with him. 

Namjoon says that he is going to call their manager as well and ask for a sick day for all of them, simply stating that he won’t tell him exactly what happened, just that Jimin isn’t feeling well and that they would all like to stay home in order to care for him. Which in part, is totally true.

The morning came way to slow for any of their likings, and they all slowly rose from their sleep amd all gathered in the kitchen. However, they were all waiting to see if Jimin is to come home or if they were going to have to go and find him. 

So when the front door was knocked on three times, so timid that it was almost impossible to hear all of their hearts stopped. Jungkook was the one to volunteer to open the door. 

“I have a package for Kim Seokjin. Is he here?” Just like that everyone’s hearts fell.

**********

Jimin is woken up by the sun, shining into the small hotel room. At first, he tried to avoid the sunlight by pulling up the covers over his head, groaning. God he doesn’t want to get up, what time even is it? It can’t be time to go dancing practice yet because Hobi had not woken him up, the sun had, and yet he remembered that practice was supposed to be so early today that the sun wouldn’t have even been up yet.

Panic settling over him at the thought of them all oversleeping somehow he sat up quickly and...well...he was met with an unfamiliar room. He furrows his brows in confusion, how did he get here? Then it hit him.

Right, he had an argument with Yoongi last night and stormed out. Jimin let out a long sigh, placing his head into his hands. How could he have done that to all of them? They must all be so worried...and yet he couldn’t bring himself to get up and head home. He wants some time to himself. 

Jimin slid out of the bed and looked about his hotel room, eyes falling onto the Gucci coat hanging on a hanger in the closet. He didn’t have any clothes other than the Pj’s, the grey hoodie and Tae’s Jacket. He also groaned at the realization that he doesn’t have his phone either. He glances at the desk phone and reached for it, he could call Manager-hyung.

The phone rang for a couple of minutes before someone on the other line picked up, “This is Secretary Lee, Sejin is currently busy, may I help you?”

Jimin hadn’t met Lee many times before, however, he is sure that he could trust her. “Ah- hello Lee, Im Jimin- uhm… listen- all of my clothes were… damaged while I was traveling last night- by the rain and I am in need of something to wear…”

“Of course Jimin-ssi! I'll have something sent over right away. Where are you currently?” 

Jimin gives her the name of the hotel that he is at, he also asks her if she could take out some money for him to use today, saying that she can put it on a tab for him. Again she agrees and then says that she is sending someone out. 

Jimin waited and thankfully, it didn’t take more than half an hour for the guy to show up at his door, he had the clothes for Jimin as well as an envelope. 

Jimin looked at the clothes in his hands after the man had left, it is a spare suit, they all had one at the agency, in case for emergencies of course. 

Jimin took care to quickly change into the spare outfit. He slips into the white dress shirt and tucks it into a nicely pressed pair of dress pants. He walks over to the mirror and looks at himself in the reflection, trying to decide if he looks good enough to leave without doing his hair, quickly deciding that, no, he needs to at least do something with it.

Quickly, he runs his hand through his hair, trying to make it look as natural as he can, using his fingers as a comb. After a couple of minutes he decides that he has done a good enough job. After collecting all of his things and walking out of the front door, he walks down to the main office of the hotel building. 

“Checking out?” Asked the clerk at the table.

“Yes ma’am.” he quickly signs some papers and then before he could leave, the clerk stopped him and said that his driver is waiting for him outside.

That of course confused Jimin just a bit, he did not ask for a driver. Walking out, he sees that it is the same person as before who had brought him the clothes and his money. He smiles slightly and waves to the man. 

He smiles back and waves,”I know you didn't ask for a driver, but we figured that you might need one.” as in we, he must mean the company. 

Jimin nods again,”that sounds wonderful, thankyou.” he walks over to the car, ”I was thinking about going out into town. Roam around a little bit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I super hope that you loved it! I will try and get another chapter out soon! With Holiday break coming up here in a week that will give me about two weeks of free time, so expect something within that amount of time! :) 
> 
> If you'd like to get updates on the fic please follow my Twitter: @Sc00chin  
> I also have an art Instagram: @Sc00chin
> 
> Please feel free to leave a comment!! tell me what you think! Your favorite part? What do you think is going to happen?


	5. I'm So Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin comes home to open arms, all but 2 arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that it had been so long! Trying to get out of high school has been a pain, but getting a chance to write this has been a great break from it all. The next few chapters are probably going to be pretty short as I don't want to keep you all waiting too long for updates anymore, I hope you don't mind. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter.

# What I See

## Chapter Five

### I'm So Sorry

Jimin had spent the entire day walking about Seoul in a cute little shopping district. He had first, of course, bought himself a new hat, mask, and sunglass so that, hopefully, any fans might not recognize him. Not that he wouldn't have minded it, but at the current moment, Jimin just wanted to be alone with himself. 

As expected, only a few people seemed to realize who he is and asked for pictures and being the man with the soft heart as he is, of course, always agreed to take pictures with his fans and listened to whatever it is that they had to say. 

After his little outing, while he rode in the car back home, he was certainly feeling much much better about everything and felt like he was ready to face the rest of the boys after the whole episode that had happened the night before. Part of him, he found, was hoping that he would just be able to show back up at their home and none of the other boys would say a thing about the fight the night before. 

Once his driver pulled up into the driveway of the dorm Jimin gave him a wide smile and a thank you, telling him that he would give his boss nothing but good words later. Jimin looked about the nicely groomed yard, thinking about the old place the seven of them used to live in as a group. He honestly can't believe how far they have come since their debut, hell, they might even go further. 

Running his hand through his fading orange hair he walked up to the front door and typed in the code that would unlock the door and let him in.

******

_**Earlier that day** _

_Yoongis POV_

Jimin leaving the dorm really shook the foundation that held all of them together. They have all had fights, but to all of them, this seemed to be the worst yet. Even then, it wasn't a fight about a disagreement. Yoongi wanted to help Jimin and all Jimin did was push Yoongi away. 

Yoongi had been sure to leave the dorm super early, he did not want to be there when the others woke up if any of them were even able to sleep that is. He knows that he wasn't able to sleep after all, especially after what had happened with Jimin and J-hope. The only things that seem to be going through his head lately are the looks in everyone's eyes the night before. Everyone's hurt. He knows that they all viewed him as the bad guy in this scenario, but that is honestly not how he viewed anything. He thinks that he is the farthest thing from the villain in this story, more like the hero. Then again, thinking about what he had said to Jimin made him feel like the villain. 

Yoongi slumped into the offices of Big Hit Entertainment making his way to his own little workspace the company had given him. The Genius Lab. He could scoff at that, yeah right...genius, because that is _exactly_ what he is. He walked right in and sat down at his desk, the plan is to not leave this space for a while, at the very least, not until he feels like maybe, he has enough guts to return to the dorm and apologize to everyone. When he feels like they would all be able to forgive him. 

The rapper sat down in his chair slapping on his headphones, sliding over to his computer, typing in his password… something that he would never tell anyone else because, well, honestly it is embarrassing. Once he is in he stares at all of the flies thinking on whether or not he wanted to continue to work on a song or make a new one. 

Yoongi decided that he wanted to work on something new so he pushed his feet off of his desk in front of him, sliding over to his piano smoothly, the wheels of his chair not making a single squeak. He stared at the keys for a long time before he started to play random tunes. He is going to make something for Park Jimin so that he can tell him how he feels. 

*******  
_**Current Time**_  
_Jimin’s POV_

Jimin opened the door to the dorm and peered in, noting that he could not immediately see or tell that anyone is home. They must have headed to practice, honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if they did, they have comeback coming really soon. 

Jimin walked in and placed Taehyung's jacket back carefully.

¨Jimin?¨

Jimin turned to see who had called his name. He is met with wide doe eyes...Jungkook. Kookie seemed to be like such a brother to him and the fact that he is the first he sees back at home made him happy. 

¨Kookie~¨ he smiles and opens his arms wide for the boy to come over and give him a big hug. The maknae had no problem even waiting for a moment, running over and wrapping his arms tight around Jimin's frail body. 

“oh my god...h-hyung” it sounded like Jungkook is ready to cry if he isn't already that is. Jimin is of course shocked by this, the fact that Jungkook was crying upon his return. Honestly, he didn't know what he was expecting but Jungkook crying certainly wasn't one of them “w-where did you go?? We were all so worried…” he cries. 

“I went to go clear my head…” Jimin mumbles, he supposes maybe he should have called in to let them all know that he was alright. Especially considering how his attitude has been of late, the must have all been very worried. “I’m so sorry that I didn't call, I forgot my phone here…”

Jungkook seemed like he could care less whether or not Jimin was apologizing, the anger on his face is evident, ”Seriously!? How could you just...just go like that.” He is holding Jimin by both of his arms, looking him deep into the eyes, his own red and puffy.

“I- im sorry, really I am...I didn't know you all would have been so upset or worried…”Jimin tries, but he can tell that Jungkook wasn't having any of it. Thank goodness the other boy didn't seem to be in much of a rush to continue arguing with him so he moved on and just hugged Jimin again.

After about a minute or two of just embarrassment and guilt and of course hugs, Jungkook finally spoke up again, ”You know that Yoongi-hyung didn't mean what he said, right?” He looked up at his Jiminie again

“Of course I do…” It was hard for Jimin to acknowledge that Yoongi had really not meant to say anything horrible about him or hurt his feelings. Nonetheless, he does not believe that Yoongi really believes that Jimin is not...well Jimin anymore. He knows the other boy well, after all, he is pretty sure that he does.

Jungkook didn’t seem convinced by what Jimin said, but that didn’t stop him from hugging him tightly. Part of him didn’t think that Jimin would come back… 

“Im sorry that I left, I didn’t mean to upset you.” 

Before Jungkook can even respond to Jimin, Hoseok comes bursting out of his own room, eyes wide and hopeful. “Jimin!?” The boys' natural loudness attracted the rest of the group out of their rooms all shocked and happy to see that Jimin made his way home, all rushing over one by one in order to hug him. 

Each hug was followed by a question, ‘Where did you go?’. Of course, again it was to be expected, it is not like it would have been an easy ride back to his hometown, none the less, unannounced. Explaining everything to his parents would even be worse, seeing as his parents are the kind that wants to know everything that is going on in his life. Jimin, of course, was honest with the rest of the boys, he stopped at a hotel and then spent a day to himself.

“Why didn’t you call?” Jin asked, he seemed to be relieved that Jimin is home but at the same time he also, clearly, was distressed that he had no idea where Jimin was at all. “Do you have any idea how worried all of us were?” 

“I-i am really sorry Jin-hyung, I really should have thought of that, I did not mean to make you all worry so much…” Jimin gives them all a small bow in an apology, he knew what he did was wrong, to leave them completely out of the blue like that.

Looking about the group, Jimin noticed that both Yoongi and Namjoon where missing from the bunch. “Where are Yoongi-hyung and Joonie-hyung?” The others looked about themselves as if contemplating on whether or not they should tell Jimin what happened the night that he left.

J-hope was the one to speak up, ”I- was….I reacted really bad on the night of your fight with Yoongi-hyung.” He starts, hesitant to admit that he had actually hit their hyung, he loves them all so much, and he felt so guilty for even daring to strike Yoongi like that, he very much lost his temper that day, and he truly regrets it. “I hit Yoongi-hyung… He hasn’t been home from the studio, Joonie-hyung went to go check up on him.” 

Of course, it is shocking for Jimin to hear that Hoseokie had done something like that, but the other was known for losing his temper quicker than the others, and they had never had a fight quite like that in the group ever. Jimin is sure that Hobi did not mean it in the slightest. Jimin brought Hobi into a soft and tender hug, ”I’m sorry hyung if I hadn’t started this mess in the first place it never would have happened.” 

Before Hoseok can protest he turns around “I am going to go and talk to Yoongi-Hyung.” He smiles and moves to leave, this time taking _his_ jacket rather than Taehyungs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it! I hope you liked it, comments are always welcome, I love hearing about peoples thoughts! :) 
> 
> For updates, my Twitter is: @Sc00chin


	6. Do You Like Him?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hyung….Do you like him?”

#  What I See 

## Chapter Six

###  Do You Like Him?

The walk to the studio is enough to let Jimin think long and hard about what he was going to say to Yoongi. Yet, while he made his way over to the studio, he just could not get the right words to say in his head. Jimin stuffed his hand into the pocket of his jacket with some force in frustration, trying to fend off the small bite of cold outside. He stopped right in front of the door nearly being hit by it as it swung open, Namjoon on the other side.

“Jiminie?” His face is that of shock, Jimin assuming because the man wasn’t expecting to see him there.“You’re...you’re back…” Jimin could hear a physical sigh escape BTS’s leaders lips, the taller man pulling Jimin into a tight hug,”Are you okay?” 

Jimin nods lightly, wrapping his arms around Namjoon,”Yeah…. Is Yoongi hyung okay?” 

Namjoon thinks about that for a moment before he responds, “Hyung’s heart seems to need a little bit of help from you Jiminie, if I were to recommend you do something, I would listen to him, let him open his heart up to you.” Namjoon nods, “Listen… I am going to head back to the dorm...I’ll see you and hyung there.” he smiles brightly. 

Jimin nods raising an eyebrow in slight confusion. 

__

_**Earlier that day** _

Yoongi roughly rubbed his tired eyes as he stared at the blue screen in front of him. He has been working on a particular song for quite some time now- maybe he should head back to the dorm? Actually- he could just spend the whole day here and continue to work on their upcoming album. 

Some more time seems to go by until his process is interrupted by a knock on the door. 

“Hyung? It’s Joon, will you let me in?” 

Yoongi let out probably one of the grumpiest, annoyed sigh as he could, pushing back in his chair so that he can get up onto his feet. Slumping over to the door,opening it just a bit, not enough to let his friend in however. “Is there something you need help with Joon?? I’m kinda busy” he mumbles.

The face Namjoon makes in return in response is certainly not what Yoongi wants to see, but he can also understand why. Joons face quickly changed lighting up in a small smile, an understanding smile and of course a smile that told Yoongi that his excuses weren't going to cut it. 

With a deep sigh he reluctantly opened the door for his friend.Yoongi let his younger brother (They aren’t really brothers, but Yoongi really did view him as such) take the responsibility of closing the door for him as he didn't really see the point of him doing it himself. He made himself comfy once again in the nice office chair he had bought for his work space. 

Namjoon also made himself comfortable,sitting on the couch that is ever so conveniently placed in the Genius Lab for genius naps. The two of them sat there for a while in silence, watching each other, almost seeming to observe the air and how each other felt. If there is one thing they are both sure of, it is how well they know each other. 

Namjoon was the one who finally decided to break the silence with a small deep breath, preparing himself for the conversation they were about to have. “So….” he pauses,”do you want to tell me what that was about?” he words, making sure that he is not accusatory, because he knows that Yoongi would never ever try to actively hurt or go after any of the members in their group. 

Yoongi is silent a little bit longer before letting out a defeated groan shaking his head and rubbing his eyes,”Honestly Joon? I really have no fucking idea” he frowns deeply,”I know I said something I shouldn't have though….I was only trying to look out for him…” its funny how even talking about it really made him want to cry and he knows that Joon could see that.

Namjoon seems to be listening carefully to Yoongi as he spoke,it also seemed like he is putting something together in his head, the leader wasn’t sure if this is something that he should really mention to Yoongi though. Maybe he will. “What exactly did you say Yoongi? Jimin did leave in a rush.” 

Yoongi shakes his head, “I told him he didn’t seem like Jimin anymore...which….god Joon- why on earth did I say it like that?” the usually strong willed rapper wipes a tear away from his eye, “How could Jimin not be Jimin? I just meant that I knew something was off, I don’t think mentally he is doing so good.” he whines placing his head in his hands. “Fuck Joon- I didn’t mean to say it like that….I don’t know how the fuck to help him.” 

“I agree with you Hyung- something certainly is off, I completely agree with you.” He gently walks over kneeling in front of the boy so that they could make eye contact, so that he could make sure that Yoongi is honest with him,”Hyung- you know that no matter what I will always love you… right?”

Yoongi nods, not putting much thought into it, he knew that no matter what would or could happen in the future, Namjoon will always be there for him. They had been together, as friends for such a long time and he could never be more sure that it is going to stay that way. 

“Hyung….Do you like him?” 

The question shocked Yoongi, not because it offended him, but because he thought no one knew, maybe Namjoon doesn’t, but if he is asking then it must be obvious. “Wh-what do you mean?” a stupid question, “Why wouldn’t I like Jimin, he is an amazing team memb-” 

“Yoongi, you know what I mean… Do you love him?” Namjoon cuts him off, looking serious.

The room is silent for a bit, just like time stood still until Yoongi finally opened his mouth to speak. “I...Namjoon….I do….” Yoongi’s face flushes with embarrassment with the confession.

Namjoon nods, he figured, but he wasn’t sure if it were true, the way Yoongi looked at Jimin however, it was undeniable that something more was there than just friendship. “Are you ever going to tell him?”

“No- I can’t do that, I don’t think he would even feel the same way Joonie...what if he says no? It could end up being so awkward between us, then it would effect the band…” Yoongi tries to reason, now wiping tears out of his eyes.

“I think you would be surprised Yoongi.” He says, he is very confident that the feelings are shared just from what he knows about the two. He knows that there is a good chance Jimin likes Yoongi back because Jimin had told him years ago that he is gay. Not only that, but as the leader, it isn’t hard to spot how someone is feeling especially if you have known them all for so long. He could see it so easily between the two. “Just give it a try, not saying anything won’t do us any good either, especially you.” 

“Maybe Joonie- Maybe…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyy! That is the end of this chapter, again, sorry it took me forever to upload, but trying to graduate has been a bitch. I am out in less than three weeks though!! The I have even more time to create afterwords. 
> 
> Also, I am seeing BTS in Chicago this weekend on this Saturday! (The 11th) I am so exited. :)))


	7. Does He Like You?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? The fastest I have ever updated anything- lol. 
> 
> Seeing BTS was awesome and I loved it so much. I also loved Chicago and I already miss exploring that place. 
> 
> Anyways- Enjoy this chapter!!

# 

What I See

## 

Chapter 7

### 

Does He Like You?

Jimin made his way up to Min Yoongi’s studio space, tossing around what Namjoon had said to him in his head. What had he meant by that? _“Hyungs heart seems to need a little bit of help from you Jiminie-”_ To be perfectly honest, that made him quite worried about Yoongi, he just hopes that everything will be okay after the events that took place the night before.

Once Jimin reaches his destination his eyes scan the words on the glass door in front of him, ‘Genius Lab’. He felt a small smile play at his lips. If there is anything that he is sure of, this is so true about Yoongi, he is by far one of the smartest people Jimin has ever met in his life. He lingers a little bit longer looking through the glass, it is not the type of glass that you really can see through, however, he could see the light from Suga’s computer working in there, and he could see the slight shape of the chair and a mint head sticking out from the top of it. 

**_Knock Knock Knock_**

“Who is it?... Namjoonie? Is that you again-?” Yoongi must have looked at the door, It isn’t hard to know that it is Jimin because of the distinct orange color in his hair. “Jimin?” He hears.

It only takes a couple of seconds for the door to open revealing a rather disheveled man. Yoongi looks tired, bags circleing his eyes that seemed to also be red and puffy, probably from crying, which is- unusual. Yoongi doesn’t cry that often… Jimin can’t even say anything before he is pulled into a hug. “I’m so sorry Jiminie- really, I didn’t mean what I said” Yoongi squeezes Jimin tighter before he finally lets go, wiping his eyes.

“H-hyung, it’s okay! I promise! Really I am fine!!” He tries to reassure Yoongi, gently reaching out to take the older man’s hand. 

“No- what I said was not okay Jiminie…” Yoongi shakes his head, still taking Jimin’s hand despite this. Yoongi looks into his studio in thought for a minute before looking back to Jimin, “Do you want to come in? I have some beer in my mini fridge, we could talk...if that is something you would like to do…” 

Jimin nods quickly, “Of course Yoongi, I would love to talk.” Jimin carefully follows his hyung inside of the room taking off his jacket as it isn’t as cold in the olders work room. Swiping a hand through his hair carefully tossing it back in place in the process, he sits down on Yoongi’s couch. “Have you been in here all night Hyung?” 

Yoongi nods in response, “I didn’t know what else to do,” he pauses, “Hoseok wasn’t really impressed with what went down...so I thought I would just come here.” He says as he walks over to the mini fridge that was sitting by his desk. The fridge itself is small enough to fit in the corner of his room, just underneath Yoongi’s desk. It is a bright cherry red fridge with a very familiar soda pop brand on the door. Inside, Jimin could see that Yoongi has an 8 pack of beer sitting on the top shelf with about 3 missing from it, as well as some wine those of which are almost empty. There is also leftover takeout and kimchi sitting on the shelves. Yoongi grabs two of the cans from the pack and walks over to Jimin, sitting down next to him. 

“Where did you go?” Yoongi finally asks after a couple minutes of silence, after both had opened their drinks and are already taking sips. Jimin looks over to Yoongi, seeming concerned, at least to the other boys eyes. He can’t help but smile a bit, trying to make the other feel better.

“Yoonie- don’t worry to much about that…” he gently scoots closer to the other boy, “I went to a hotel, I spent the night there…” He sighs, gently running a finger tip over the lip of the can, “I am sorry I ran away- that was childish of me…” 

“No- it’s okay- I understand why you did it, I really was too pushy-” Yoongi shakes his head, rubbing at his eyes, “I of all people should know how hard it is to talk about these sorts of things and I pushed you to far.” Yoongi shakes his head.

Jimin is silent, he is not sure how to respond to that. Yes, things have been difficult, and the last thing he wants to do is talk about it. He doesn’t want to worry his hyungs or the rest of the boys. “You were right though Yoonie-.” He pouts, letting out a quiet sigh, “I am not okay-” 

Yoongi looks up, his eyes wide, he knew it to be true- but deep in his heart he was hoping that it was wrong and he was just being overly paranoid. Hoping that Jimin is okay, as well as healthy and happy. The last thing he wanted to hear is that Jimin is struggling with anything and it know it is true breaks his heart. Yet, it feels so good that Jimin is finally telling him something, “What’s wrong Minnie?” He gently reaches out to take the other boys hand.

Jimin shakes his head,”I don’t know if I really want to talk about it Hyung-...” He frowns and takes Yoongi’s hand. “If that is okay” 

He looks up to see Yoongi nod quickly in response, “Of course Jiminie, just promise me that you will find me if you are in danger okay? Also- Just know that I will always be here for you” he smiles gently. 

Jimin smiles back, the both of them falling into silence once more before Jimin looked up at Yoongi, “You know, Namjoon said something weird when I ran into him outside…” He decides to bring up, looking over at Yoongi again. 

The older boy perks up, strangely enough, he seemed to go through some sort of panic looking at Jimin with wide eyes, “What did he say?” He asked his voice raising an octave or two, clearly thrown off by the whole thing. 

“That your heart needed me... and that I should listen to you…” Jimin gives Yoongi a strange squint, picking up on the other boys panic. “Is there something you need to tell me Yoonie?” he asks, leaning in.

Yoongi felt his cheeks flush from the closeness, but he doesn’t say anything, ”I-I...n-no” he tries at first, but it is clear that Jimin wasn’t going to take that as an answer, “I just- I don’t think it is really something you want to hear Minnie... “ He whines a little bit. 

“Sounds to me like you told Namjoon something you want to tell me, so don’t lie to me like that Yoonie.” He gives Yoongi a sly smirk watching the other boy continue to become a little more uncomfortable. “I promise no matter what you say, I will always love you Yoonie.” 

Yoongi blinks, what is with people and saying that today? Of course he knows that they will all continue to love him, then again, if he tells Jimin that he loves him...would that really be true, what if it makes things awkward? “I don’t know Jiminie this is so different compared to the other things that happen, I don’t think it is something that could go very well- if you take it the way I don’t want you to take it.” 

Jimin shakes his head, “We made it through last night alright didn’t we? How could this be any worse?” The younger boy watches his hyung carefully taking the others big hands in his smaller ones, the stark difference between them in size is almost laughable. 

“You promise- to not hate me if- if “ Yoongi shakes his head, fear in his eyes at the thought of this not going the way he hopes it will. 

“Yoongi-hyung, there is absolutely nothing you could do that would make me hate you.” He says this with the utmost certainty, Jimin knows without a doubt that Yoongi could never do anything to turn him away, sure he could be upset depending on what it is… but he has always bounced back. 

Yoongi nods for a second, playing with Jimin’s smaller hands in his own. “Okay-” He nods, unsure of how he could even say this. “Listen Jimin- I…” He looks into Jimin's eyes and takes a deep breath, “I like you- as in I have a crush on you….I-I mean….I-Ii would like to date you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Hahahaha, Cliff Hanger, Just for you! Will they get together? We shall find out in the next chapter.  
> Thank you so much for 2K reads too! I can’t believe that one of fics could even get that much attention lol. So yeah, thank you so much, I will be sure to continue to work on this until it is at a point where I think the story has been complete!
> 
> Not only that but thank you so much for 126 Kudos! My heart is touched by your support ;u;  
> I’ll be sure to work harder and make more for you all. 
> 
> Comments are always welcomed of course! If you would like to follow me on social media my twitter and Instagram are both @Sc00chin (yes, those are zeros)


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